Thalias Servants Theater | Designed by Helge Jørgensen
Without a victim, there can be no villain. Or hero, for that matter.
Let that sink in for just a moment. Think about just how much in our society hinges on there being a victim in need of saving from a heinous villain.
It’s the underpinning of every action film you’ve ever seen. And every drama.
Governments are built on the premise. As are religions, mythologies, cults… it is THE basis of the vast bulk of human interaction. And, unfortunately, it forms the basis of control and manipulation as well.
This triad also serves as the expression mechanism of control and manipulation via the Hegelian Dialect. That is, (1) manufacture a problem, (2) create and spin fear around the problem then, (3) provide the “solution” to the manufactured problem.
For example, the “villain” requires a “victim” accepting of said problem. By way of propaganda and fear, the villain pushes the victim into a state of fear and a manic search for a “savior” (hero) to solve said problem. In political schemes, the “villain” and “savior” and playing for the same team. Republicans and democrats being two sides of the same coin. The classic, “good cop, bad cop” scenario. Manipulating the “victim” to beg for the manufactured solution that ultimately benefits no one but the villain/hero alliance.
When I work with clients, whether within or outside of the teacher plant space, we often confront issues in which they have given their power away. Wittingly or not, they’ve set themselves up as the victim in a drama in which they “have no control”. They’ve become an emotional puppet, of sorts, under something’s (or someone else’s) puppet mastery. And, though they don’t (yet) see it, they are setting me up in the position of the hero to “save” or “fix” the problem/villain.
I gently point out to them that any control they might imagine they have over a situation is mere illusion, anyway. At best, a psychological rearrangement of deck chairs on the Titanic. The only thing they truly have control over is their response to a situation. And their response is 100%, wholly and fully, their choice. Should they decide to claim it, that is.
In fact, the only thing we DO have full control over is our choice of response and reaction to outside stimulus. And this idea is more than mere Eastern thought woo, more than mere mental and verbal masturbation. It is, in fact, the underpinning of self-empowerment. Precisely because it breaks the hellish victim/villain/hero vortex.
And to be fully self-empowered is to be truly free. Sole sovereign of one’s own mind, body, and soul.
When you begin to see life through this lens, you begin to see just how often you are being manipulated. How often you are giving away your power and, as a result, your sense of sovereignty and self-worth.
And the thing is, you’re not lazy or unmotivated. This isn’t a matter of intelligence or self-loathing. This all stems from our conditioning.
Now, whenever I bring up the subject of conditioning, the question turns to “conditioned by whom, exactly?”. And it’s a legitimate ask.
I mean, the idea that you’re unwittingly being played is unnerving. Especially if you’ve been led your entire life to believe that you’re “free”.
In most daily interactions, the villain, victim, and hero go about their roles unawares. That is to say, in the course of human life, we play the various roles without even being aware of the fact we’re doing so. And the great majority of these interactions are, for the most part, innocuous.
Innocuous though, does not imply there isn’t an insidious creep. A bit-by-bit dulling of the Spidey senses. Either learning to play the role of, or acting as an enabler, of someone else’s victimhood.
Of course, some are more adept (and therefore, naturally gravitate to) one role or the other. Then there are structural and hierarchical dynamics at play. One may play the “hero” and work, and the “victim” at home, for example.
But the kingpin here — the most vulnerable and the most destructive to self — is the role of the victim. Precisely because the victim seeks outward salvation from the villain via the hero/savior. Because he/she cannot help themselves.
A learned and constantly reinforced victimhood is nothing less than a dehumanizing soul-suck.
Might those in power (government, for example) wittingly or not, be motivated to find victims? And perpetuate their victimhood? Whether they come at this from the villain or hero side of the triangle?
You bet they’re motivated to do so. And to perpetuate the cycle. At all costs.
At all costs to the victim, that is.
Let’s jiujitsu that victim shit. Once and for all.
As with all things, the first three steps to change is (1) recognition of the issue, (2) a want and willingness to alter course, and (3) belief that the said issue *can* be changed.
From this point, my goal as a facilitator is to sherpa the person to a point of radical responsibility. That is to say, the realization that they are wholly and completely responsible for their lives.
Now, push pause for a moment while I explain. Because I understand the rage building in you because of that statement. And I honor it.
That rage, by the way? It’s a control mechanism. Born of the same victimhood that we are endeavoring to eradicate, once and for all. As we say in the teacher plant space, “hold center” here in the chaos of emotion for a moment. Rage is an expression of fear, and the lesson you desire resides in the cave you most fear to enter.
Yes, I have worked with trauma survivors. People who’ve endured the unspeakable. The only liberation from that trauma? Two things: reclaiming that person’s empowerment and sovereignty AND discovering the soul’s lesson hidden in that trauma.
More on this soon -